Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Countdown: The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Hutton but the Truth...

By the time I wake up here in Toronto, Lord Hutton will have released his report on the circumstances surrounding Dr. David Kelly's death. It could have serious ramifications on Tony Blair, the Labour party, the BBC, British intelligence, post-war Iraq, the United States... Beforehand be sure to brush up on your Hutton at the Guardian's excellent weblog devoted to the inquiry.

Here's a timeline of today's events in Greenwich Mean Time:

12:00 pm -- The BBC prepares to self-flagellate.
12:30 pm -- Lord Hutton delivers a statement outlining the main findings of his report.
1:30 pm -- The full text of the report gets posted here.
2:00 pm -- The BBC begins to self-flagellate.
2:30 pm -- Tony Blair "sexes up" the Hutton report on his laptop by changing its typeface and sticking in some .jpgs.
3:00 pm -- More intense self-flagellation at the BBC.
4:00 pm -- Jack Straw discovers Iraq's weapons of mass destruction in the Thames Valley with their wires cut. A new inquiry begins!
6:00 pm -- Dr. David Kelly emerges from a spider hole and exposes the whole thing as an elaborate ruse.
8:00 pm -- Michael Frayn's play about the Dr. David Kelly affair opens at the London Royal National Theatre.

Post-script

Lord Hutton

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