Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Campaign Diary, Day 11.5: Secrets of the Ya-Ya Politicians

As previously mentioned, Kwangyul Peck, the Liberal candidate for Port Moody - Westwood - Port Coquitlam, really stands out from the pack of wannabe politicians running in the upcoming federal election. That's because he has no fingerprints. Yes, years spent lifting heavy boxes as a vegetable delivery truck driver in New York "resulted in the loss of all of his fingerprints," he explains in his online bio.

This shocking revelation leads to two questions: 1) Where was Peck when Chuck Guité needed him? and 2) What perverse secrets are other candidates hiding from the public?

On the Fence has launched a coast-to-coast investigation to discover the personal trivia the shadowy pols who want your vote don't want you to know. Here are some of the leads we're following:
-- A candidate running in Humber—St. Barbe—Baie Verte knows all the verses to Barrett's Privateers. All of them.

-- A candidate in Abitibi—Témiscamingue has never sat on a chaise longue.

-- A Conservative candidate running in a Western Ontario riding says to-MAH-to instead of to-MAY-to.

-- A prominent federal party leader is double-jointed. In the knees.

-- A candidate for Edmonton—Sherwood Park gets a little down on Sunday afternoons.

-- An NDP candidate running in Winnipeg has a particular fondness for butter.

-- The top aide to a candidate in the Malpeque riding used to date a dental hygenist.

-- A hopeful in the Sackville—Eastern Shore riding once wrote a fan letter to Phil Ochs.

-- A prominent Maritime Liberal candidate lost on Jeopardy.

-- Several Green Party members in Saskatchewan believe in evolution.

-- A shadow cabinet minister from an opposition party has a son studying drama at UBC.

-- A Bloc Quebecois hopeful near Trois-Rivieres thinks Tiger Woods is "the sexiest man alive."

-- Judy Sgro is coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs.
On the Fence will keep you updated as these stories unfold.

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