Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Meanwhile, back in America...

From the You-Just-Couldn't-Make-It-Up-If-You-Tried Dept., here's a BBC article with the great headline "Bin Laden stars in Rumsfeld pillow talk":
Donald Rumsfeld has admitted that his wife often needles him about the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden - often just after they wake up.

"When I walk out of the bedroom in the morning, my wife frequently rolls over and says, 'Where's UBL?'" he said, referring to the spelling "Usama".
The rest of the article gets no less Onion-esque:
"Close doesn't count," he said, according to AP news agency.

"In [throwing] horse shoes, yes, in finding a terrorist person, no. There are a lot of people looking. If he's alive and well out there, he is very busy trying to avoid being caught.

"He is under pressure, but where he is, we don't know. If we knew, we would go find him. [But] until he's caught, he's not caught."

Mr Rumsfeld - who has also acquired a certain notoriety for his verbal convolutions - also explained that he believed Bin Laden would probably turn up suddenly after a tip-off, as in the case of Saddam Hussein.

"The only way we ever found him is finally somebody put enough pressure on enough people to find out that somebody had an idea where somebody might know somebody who might know somebody who would know where he might have been," he said, according to the American Forces Press Service.

But he said people were "working their heads off" trying to track Bin Laden down.
Forgive me for this, but I just got a mental picture of Rumsfeld and his wife having rough sex and she's yelling, "Where's UBL? Where's UBL, motherf--ker!" And he keeps squeaking, "I don't know! I just don't knoooow!"

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