Friday, August 13, 2004

Friday Roundup: Kim Jong-il loves pizza! Paul Wells hates Jean Lapierre! Alien and Predator sitting in a tree!

A few things before I hit Saint Sauveur for some hot cottage party action:

1) BBC: I made pizza for Kim Jong-il. More proof that truth is stranger than fiction... and that pizza parties, as Leonardo and his fellow crime-fighting turtles knew long ago, are the key to world peace.

2) As all of his readers know, Macleans scribe/blogger Paul Wells doesn't like Jean Lapierre. No, sirree. Not one bit. And it's not, he explains in the comments to this post of mine, just because Lapierre flirted with separatism:
The problem with Lapierre is that he had never flirted with separatism in his life until his buddy Paul didn't get the good job. And then, when it was unfashionable for hip Quebecers to believe in Canada, he spent a couple of years letting everyone know that of course he didn't believe in Canada. All of this while die-hard Quebec federalists were being removed from family Christmas gift lists, dis-invited from family functions, and generally *paying* for their beliefs in very concrete ways.
Then his buddy Paul got the good job, and suddenly Lapierre was a federalist.
And Paul Martin tells Quebecers who've been federalist all their lives — even when it wasn't getting them invited to the cool parties — to take orders from this guy? And then he's surprised at the result? Astonishing.
Point taken. By the way, you (the reader) should stop by Wells' blog, because there is a wicked debate going on about university tuition fees right now. Yes, dagnabit: wicked.

3) Alien v. Predator opens today, but critics were not allowed to view it. So I wrote a fake review in Post today. (Yes, it's free online!) An excerpt:
Fired from his job at the New York Post for fabricating and eating his sources, Predator takes off for a trip to Japan, where he has been hired to do a cameo in a Godzilla movie.

At his hotel, he meets a beautiful young manga and anime fan (the dreamy Maggie Gyllenhaal in an uncredited cameo). While her husband is off on a photo shoot (actually, we later learn in a clumsy flashback that Predator has disemboweled him), they head to a late-night karaoke bar, where Predator breaks down during an off-key but touching rendition of The Cure's Boys Don't Cry: "I try to laugh about it / Hiding the tears in my eyes / Because GAARG GAAAH GRARRRRRGH."
Yes. This is my actual job.

Have a good weekend.

1 comment:

planet-tom said...

Hi, way back in August 2004, you had a faux review of ALIEN VS. PREDATOR in the National Post, with, if I'm not mistaken, a pretty funny illustration of Predator and Alien embracing.

The link is now sadly defunct; I was wondering if you still had that article, and that illustration?

A similar matchup can be found here.