Friday, December 23, 2005

Well sir, all I can say is if I were a gate I'd be swinging...

Man, the tough issues the greatest minds of our nation have to grapple with: Group sex, partner swapping... How do they do it?

Anyway, what I like best about this court ruling -- aside from the fact that I won't have to hear about L'Orage every year anymore -- is the pictures newspapers are using to illustrate their stories about the legalization of swinger clubs. For instance:

-- CBC News's "Interior of a Montreal swinger club," which is the most banal picture ever, showing a couple of tables made out of barrels and a Dasani water machine that is out of order.

-- From the Edmonton Sun: "Sylvain and Katline, a swinging couple who declined to give their last names, share a kiss yesterday in Montreal in celebration of a Supreme Court ruling that rewrote the definition of indecency." Yes! We can legally have sex with other people in private clubs now! Give me a kiss, honey!

-- CTV's picture of lawyer Robert La Haye isn't particularly funny, but the caption is: "Robert La Haye says 'It's a commercial establishment where people reconvene and practice swapping or swinging, even orgy gang-bangs.'" That sentence is hilarious on so many levels. What I want to know is this: Where do they convene before? Were those places legal? "Okay gang, let's split up. Scooby and Shaggy, you go check out the windmill's cellar. Daphne and I will see what's up in the attic. Then, we'll reconvene for some swapping... or even an orgy gang-bang." And isn't that last term redundant? Are there any gang-bangs that are not orgy gang-bangs? Is there some sort of subtle distinction between orgies and gang-bangs that I'm not catching here?

-- Then there's this one from the Gazette, which is just disturbing: "Swingers cub owner Denis Chesnel (top) and his daughters Brigitte (left) and Valerie applauded the Supreme Court ruling yesterday." Wha... your daughters? Did something else just get legalized here while we weren't paying attention?

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