Paul Gross is a fidgety theatregoer.
Theatre Passe Muraille. Backspace. 8pm.
I'm reading the programme. A couple take the seats next to me, begin reading their programmes too. The man fidgets, chews gum.
The play begins. The fidgeting continues. I am like (in my head), "Who is this fidgety guy next to me chewing gum? Wait... is he actually doing calf muscle stretches in the middle of a play now? Stop bangin' into the back of the row of seats like that, dude. Gosh!"
The play ends. This being me, I recognise his wife Martha Burns first. She says something like, "See you at home then." And I think to myself, "What? Who's she going to see at home other than Paul Gross?" Then I realise: "Oh. Paul Gross. He is the fidgety man."
This has been: Things that won't make it into to the review I'm writing.
UPDATE: I suddenly thought, ah, hey, maybe it's not fair to quote someone who was just enjoying a night out at the theatre. I should also note that a) TPM backspace has some of the most uncomfortable seats in town, and b) I am an uptight theatregoer. That is all.