Thursday, March 20, 2008

Paul Gross is a fidgety theatregoer.

Theatre Passe Muraille. Backspace. 8pm.

I'm reading the programme. A couple take the seats next to me, begin reading their programmes too. The man fidgets, chews gum.

The play begins. The fidgeting continues. I am like (in my head), "Who is this fidgety guy next to me chewing gum? Wait... is he actually doing calf muscle stretches in the middle of a play now? Stop bangin' into the back of the row of seats like that, dude. Gosh!"

The play ends. This being me, I recognise his wife Martha Burns first. She says something like, "See you at home then." And I think to myself, "What? Who's she going to see at home other than Paul Gross?" Then I realise: "Oh. Paul Gross. He is the fidgety man."

This has been: Things that won't make it into to the review I'm writing.

UPDATE: I suddenly thought, ah, hey, maybe it's not fair to quote someone who was just enjoying a night out at the theatre. I should also note that a) TPM backspace has some of the most uncomfortable seats in town, and b) I am an uptight theatregoer. That is all.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You should've given him a Life Saver candy. Maybe he's trying to quit smoking. Actually, I've had to do calf stretches while attending the theatre, due to episodes of restless leg syndrome. It's impossible to sit still when that happens.