Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Conservatives eat their political opponents for breakfast!

Also, apparently, granola! Who saw that coming? I thought the Tories were all cereal monogamists.

Thank you, thank you!

Loose translation for English-only speakers:

Lawrence Cannon: Hey guys, remember how we promised we were going to change things, but for reals this time?

Stephen Harper: Yeah, and then we solved the fiscal imbalance and my pituitary problem.

Jean-Pierre Blackburn: So true. Also we recognized Quebec as a nation and that previously silent oppressed collectivity now finally has a voice.

Josee Verner: Oh, speaking of accomplishments, don't forget that beer-and-popcorn allowance for new families and that we reduced the GST to 5%.

Christian Paradis: I'M IN THE CABINET!?!?!

Michel Fortier: And we've got a 1000-year plan to reduce greenhouse gases without any new taxes. Question: Are we drinking grapefruit juice or really watery orange juice?

Stephen Harper: We were responsible, and we made good decisions, and we ate all our vegetables!

Lawrence Cannon: Unlike the Liberals, who made promises and then didn't keep them.

Christian Paradis: Yeah, and unlike the Bloc, who OMG GUYS, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HAVING BREAKFAST WITH ALL OF YOU!!!

Josee Verner: Finally, a government that keeps its promises. Us, I mean. With the exception of *cough* 125,000 new childcare spaces *cough* and patient wait time guarantees and *cough* stuff. Hey, is that long-gun registry still around or what?

Michel Fortier: Whatever. We are so friggin' awesome that I'm going to use an anglicisme.

Stephen Harper: The more I nod, the more it makes me look like I understand what you're saying and by extension what the Quebec nation is saying.

Voice-over: In a world where everyone's trying to keep Quebec down, the Conservatives are moving Quebec forward. Le Quebec Prend Des Farces, sorry, Forces.


ian mackenzie said...

Well that was depressing to watch. Thanks Kelly!

And it's great to see the ethno-cultural diversity of the Conservative Party reflected in the diversity of blue shirts the team wore for this shoot.

megan said...

you possibly just became my hero, your translation made me snort.