Conservatives eat their political opponents for breakfast!
Also, apparently, granola! Who saw that coming? I thought the Tories were all cereal monogamists.
Thank you, thank you!
Loose translation for English-only speakers:
Lawrence Cannon: Hey guys, remember how we promised we were going to change things, but for reals this time?
Stephen Harper: Yeah, and then we solved the fiscal imbalance and my pituitary problem.
Jean-Pierre Blackburn: So true. Also we recognized Quebec as a nation and that previously silent oppressed collectivity now finally has a voice.
Josee Verner: Oh, speaking of accomplishments, don't forget that beer-and-popcorn allowance for new families and that we reduced the GST to 5%.
Christian Paradis: I'M IN THE CABINET!?!?!
Michel Fortier: And we've got a 1000-year plan to reduce greenhouse gases without any new taxes. Question: Are we drinking grapefruit juice or really watery orange juice?
Stephen Harper: We were responsible, and we made good decisions, and we ate all our vegetables!
Lawrence Cannon: Unlike the Liberals, who made promises and then didn't keep them.
Christian Paradis: Yeah, and unlike the Bloc, who OMG GUYS, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HAVING BREAKFAST WITH ALL OF YOU!!!
Josee Verner: Finally, a government that keeps its promises. Us, I mean. With the exception of *cough* 125,000 new childcare spaces *cough* and patient wait time guarantees and *cough* stuff. Hey, is that long-gun registry still around or what?
Michel Fortier: Whatever. We are so friggin' awesome that I'm going to use an anglicisme.
Stephen Harper: The more I nod, the more it makes me look like I understand what you're saying and by extension what the Quebec nation is saying.
Voice-over: In a world where everyone's trying to keep Quebec down, the Conservatives are moving Quebec forward. Le Quebec Prend Des Farces, sorry, Forces.